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The Slenderman Survival Guide:

With the popularity of Marble Hornets, the Slenderman, originally the product of a thread on SomethingAwful, has become an internet legend, and is responsible for scaring the shit out of many a curious viewer who made the foolish decision to watch the end of entry 26 at 3:00 in the morning. Now, Slenderman is a fictional character, but if he was real he would pose a serious problem to anyone who has watched these videos. Slenderman is a lot like the first rule of Fight Club. You do not talk about Slenderman, or try to find out information about Slenderman. If you do, he will get closer and closer to you until he finally kills you. This takes months, and is a long and terrifying process. From watching the various series about Slenderman, I have put together a seven step plan that may save your life if Slenderman turns out to be real and begins to stalk you. Follow these steps, and you may just survive with your sanity intact.

I do not know if these will work, or if you will even need to use them in your lifetime, as there is no evidence that Slenderman actually exists. However, if he does you might as well have some sort of plan to fall back on, so why not this one?

Rule 1: Ignorance is Bliss

So you've seen him on your tapes, you've heard the distortion on them, and you're wondering how you never noticed him before. He's not just some shadowy internet figure; he's real. So obviously you try to discover the truth about Slenderman and destroy it once and for all, right? Wrong. An important part about the Slenderman mythos is that the more you know about it, the closer it gets to you. Look at Marble Hornets for an example. Jay was involved with the filming, but knew nothing about Slenderman. So he watches the tapes, and then Slendy sends Masky after him, and eventually attacks him himself later on in the abandoned house, in entry 23. In TribeTwelve, Noah didn't know anything either, and after Milo dies Slenderman starts stalking him once he watches the tapes from Milo's visit. And when the EverymanHYBRIDS start screwing around and making fun of Slendy, he starts stalking them. Picking up on the pattern? In a world where Slenderman is real, ignorance is bliss. The less you know the better. If you do start noticing him around you or your friends, do not go looking for answers. You will not find any. The answers will find you instead.

Rule 2: Turn that Damn Camera Off!

Video Cameras are the entire reason the Slenderman mythos exist. Without them, Alex, Noah, the EverymanHYBRIDS and the other ARG producers would never have given us such wonderfully disturbing videos. That being said, if distortion and Slenderman start appearing on your tapes, destroy the camera, burn the tapes, and never buy another camera again. Ever. You may have found some kick-ass footage for youtube, but now you have an unstoppable supernatural creature stalking you. It's not a preferable trade-off. If Slenderman starts popping up in your everyday life, don't start filming yourself, as you'll only encourage him. Slenderman is like a forum troll. Ignore him, and he will grow bored of you and move on to the next target.

Rule 3: Coughs, Memory Loss, and Pills

A common trope among the Slenderman series is that whenever Slendy is near you, not only will he cause your camera footage to become irreparably damaged, he will also cause you to suffer seemingly random bouts of coughing fits. If you have a bizarre cough that comes and goes, and magically coincides with appearances of Slenderman, move out, stop pursuing it, and forget you ever saw it. Otherwise, it will continue to stalk you until you are dead. Furthermore, if a friend is popping pills of any sort at an alarming rate around the same time as Slenderman starts to visit you, abandon that friend to his fate and put as much distance between you and him as possible. At best, it is already too late for him, and at worst he will don a mask and start helping it stalk you. As cruel as it may seem, it's your life or his, and death by eldritch tentacled monstrosity is not a pleasant way to go out. Also, if you are having instances of Amnesia, it is also a sign that you are way in over your head, and you need to stop what you are doing and flee the town (preferably the state) and never come back. Even then, it may follow you, and if it does it is too late for you. If you still see it after moving, skip to steps six and seven.

Rule 4: Abandoned Buildings and You

I've never understood this course of action when it occurs in any horror film. Why do people who are given instructions to enter creepy abandoned buildings follow them? And why do they always go alone, at night, or both? This is generally a rule of thumb for basic survival practices in real life, let alone in a Slenderman scenario. If someone sends you a note or video that gives you an address to go to, Slenderman or his minions are waiting for you there. Do yourself a favor and avoid abandoned buildings of any sort, whether it's a house, elementary school, or factory.

Rule 5: On Cryptic Video Responses and Packages

Ignore them. They will do nothing but send you into traps that are easily avoidable if you do not follow the instructions in them, or watch the tapes contained in them. This is especially true if the video is made up of bizarre and grainy footage, and/or is wearing a mask. And if you see yourself in any of his videos, skip to step seven. It is too late for this guide to help you.

Rule 6: When All Else Fails, Run the Hell Away.

Let's put this in perspective. The EverymanHYBRIDS hit Slenderman with a bat. It didn't work. Then they hit him head on with a car. This also did not work. So, unless you have something that can hit harder than that, running is the best option if you fail to follow the first five tips and Slenderman is chasing you. You will not kill it, and you will probably only annoy it. Let's not forget that in most circumstances, you will not have time to fight, as Slenderman rarely appears in the open. By the time you realize that he is there, it is already too late. Also, don't be like Noah from Tribe Twelve, and run around your house with a knife, yelling at Slendy to come out. You really don't want that.

And last but not least:

Rule 7: No Wifin' in the Club.

Have $20 available on you at all times. It's an old meme, and a long shot for sure, but maybe it really is all Slendy wants. It could save your life. If it doesn't, and in the event that you try to fight it with a gun, keep one in the clip. It's the better way to go out.

Follow these steps and you may just be able to keep Slenderman at a comfortable distance. Still, the best defense against Slenderman is to not think about him at all. Do not worry about a Slenderman attack, and it will most likely not happen. After all, you do not want to follow him in to the d ark, do you?
I may not have really expressed it on DA before, but I am kind of obsessed with Slenderman and the video series related to him, particularly Marble Hornets and EverymanHYBRID. They really are one of the few things I've seen on the internet that have legitimately frightened me. Most creepypasta is just kind of campy, and most "horror" movie clips I've seen are just gory. Slenderman freaks me out, though.

Still, some of the people in the videos are idiots. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn't do half of the stupid things they do. Who seriously goes to an abandoned house in the dead of night when you have a supernatural monster stalking you, and who has possibly killed your best friend (looking at you, Jay). And don't even get me started on Noah from TribeTwelve.

So, here are the steps one would need to follow if Slenderman was stalking them, and that the ARG characters rarely follow.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconarcticphoenixstar:
ArcticPhoenixStar Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I say, this doesn't work.

1. I don't carry a camera. I carry my phone.

2. I don't hear anything suspicious despite the fact that I've watched all the entries of Marble Hornets.

3. Have seen some weird things.

4. I don't carry $20 with me.

5. I don't see abandoned buildings everyday.

6. I don't get random coughs.

This was helpful though, I shall keep these tips in mind in case my paranoia and fear get the better of me.
Reply
:iconblazer361:
Blazer361 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2015
HE SCARD THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME! :{
Reply
:iconblazer361:
Blazer361 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2015
"I was in school one day im 13 im a 7th grader and last year in 2014 around a May i was a 6th grader and the was a subet Teacher in my class and when I turned I around to look out the window I saw slender man no Joke with his Tentacles out and was 10ft so then I turned around really fast and I looked down at my paper." NO JOKE TRUE STORY".
Reply
:iconlunadrowned:
LUNAdrowned Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Student Filmographer
The end makes me think of WTNV
don't think about the dog park,the dog park won't hurt you,stay away from the got park
Reply
:iconarimez:
Arimez Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I'm definitely faving this for reference... Hopefully, I will never have to use some of these tips in my lifetime... Fear 
Reply
:iconproxychild:
ProxyChild Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015
I have known and researched Slendy for over two years now. I honestly think I've seen him a few times before. I have slender sickness. But, it's temporary, it goes and comes. And soon, you grow used to it. The first couple of months I started knowing him, I was terrified. I really thought I was going to die. But don't worry. He doesn't kill people without a good reason, just like the folklore of the fairy's in the forest, capturing children if they have done something bad. If you keep seeing him, and KNOW you didn't do anything that may have triggered him, then stay with large groups of people, if possible don't stay alone. Walk home from school? Ask a friend to walk with you. Try not to think about him, it really does help. Be safe.
Reply
:iconannkristel:
AnnKristel Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Stare 
Reply
:iconproxychild:
ProxyChild Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015
Uh... What's wrong? o:
Reply
:iconannkristel:
AnnKristel Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I just researched about him for months now... Which is definitely a bad idea... I guess.
Um.. About that Slender Sickness is that real?
Reply
:iconproxychild:
ProxyChild Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015
The Slender Sickness is only real if you believe in it, in a sense.. You feel sick from his presence, but over time, you can start to get used to it. It's like the common cold, you can catch it but it goes away after time. It's usually not that severe, but if it is.. Then that may mean he isn't too happy ^^;
Reply
:iconannkristel:
AnnKristel Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ok.. Thanks.
Um... By the way,
IS HE REAL and IS THERE AN ACTUAL  SIGHTING OF SLENDERMAN?!
:)
Reply
:iconproxychild:
ProxyChild Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015
Well again, he's only real if you believe he is. :XD: Otherwise, it'd be in his best interest to just leave people alone.. UNLESS you've made him angry somehow. I don't think there's an actual sighting of him, and if there was, it would be excruciatingly hard to find it through all the fake ones. Besides, he doesn't want to be seen and make people overwhelmed by fear, because he doesn't have any intent to kill innocent lives anymore. Bad ones, maybe. But he's practically trying to live a normal live as of now. 
Reply
:iconannkristel:
AnnKristel Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow. I do believe he's real.. Thanks for your time
You know a lot about him. Clap 
If there is just a chatbox around here somewhere..
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcurtiskaiju:
CurtisKaiju Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You may have saved many people's lives with this.
Reply
:iconredberrybush:
RedBerryBush Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Student Filmographer
Is there a cure for Slender Sickness? 
Reply
:icontheawesomeeevee:
theawesomeeevee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
pills
Reply
:iconredberrybush:
RedBerryBush Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015  Student Filmographer
I've been trying to find what kind of pills
Reply
:icontheawesomeeevee:
theawesomeeevee Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
cough pills maybe? :baffled: I dunno
Reply
:icontheawesomeeevee:
theawesomeeevee Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
when did they hit him with a car? what video?
Reply
:iconeeveegamergirl:
EeveeGamerGirl Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wish I had the powered to lock memories in a vault now Q n Q
Reply
:icondvartgal13:
DvArtGal13 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014
*immediately favs and saves this*
Reply
:icontherealtwilightspark:
TheREALTwilightSpark Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You forgot NEVER. LOOK. BACK!
Reply
:iconupercala:
upercala Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
todly correct but he is fake
Reply
:icontherealtwilightspark:
TheREALTwilightSpark Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I know. But what when the Fourth Wall breaks? THen he'll be real.
Reply
:iconupercala:
upercala Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh.......shit O_O
Reply
:icontherealtwilightspark:
TheREALTwilightSpark Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yup.
Reply
:iconupercala:
upercala Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*hides* mommy >^>
Reply
:icontherealtwilightspark:
TheREALTwilightSpark Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
There's nuffin you can do.
Reply
:iconupercala:
upercala Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
did you now I'm kind of part slender man
*tenticles come out of my back*(srry for the bad english and spelling)
*smiles creeply*
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmackxshadow:
mackXshadow Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
i can relate to liking the whole idea of slenderman videos especially marble hornets and everymanHYBRID
Reply
:iconharuka--chan:
Haruka--chan Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, nicely written. I will keep this in mind if I find that Slenderman is stalking me. :D
Reply
:iconshinigamieyes22:
ShinigamiEyes22 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
I know the Slender Man will never target me. When one can see through the darkness and understand it, they can learn use it to protect them from evil.
Reply
:icondannyboyschill:
dannyboyschill Featured By Owner May 12, 2014
On one a person named Daniel Schill will find the truth of the slender man and will help him crossover and find his murderer and give slendy justice.  As he has to face his nightmare that will be within him during his real life investigation as he will never give up and free the slender man and nothing won't hurt him he is like a ghost that likes to watch people so he can understand us. Even he has no choices that Daniel might have in order to free the slender man as his quote called "If the darkness is within you, you can't kill it, but you can control it" Daniel Schill. Daniel is a writer that will find the truth if you guys believe me that he is and innocent as an murder victim by someone as he will find truth of the mystery he doesn't care how long it takes to free the slender man.  - character Daniel Schill from the beginning of random horror story.     
Reply
:iconxxocean-blazexx:
xXOcean-BlazeXx Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
when i was walking back from the store at night i look down far at the end of the street and saw him behind this tall tree

i got annoyed pretty much (i can see clearly through the dark) i screamed and started waving my arms around
saying ''stop hiding i can see you!'' i thought we were playing hide and go seek.. because of him x3
i pretty much believe i would like to be friends with him if he doesn't mind xP he's always around me somewhere
i dont mind him being with me it just means that we aint going to kill each other ^^
it means i have a new friend :D
Reply
:iconlordofnoobs:
lordofnoobs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I've befriended him so I don't see why you can't. slenders not evil he's just not human. he doesn't understand what he does is wrong and he lonely going after people is his way of interacting. he had know idea what he was doing was wrong until i talked to him.
Reply
:iconxxocean-blazexx:
xXOcean-BlazeXx Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Student Digital Artist
my point exactly ^^
Reply
:iconrainbowpom:
rainbowpom Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd rather be his friend.
He's like a forum troll yeah?
Well, I'm a gamer troll.
Maybe we could be friends :3
Reply
:iconjanthekiller:
janthekiller Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Alright. Mabey if his real, ill folow these rules. But its alraedy to late.
Reply
:iconsnowwhitevonsorrow:
SnowWhitevonSorrow Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Should I be scared if my kindle (that used to belong to my dad) has been glitching and freezing at random times since 2012. And that a few years ago I had $20 in my room and it disappeared. :P
Reply
:iconlordofnoobs:
lordofnoobs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
don't worry slenderman won't hurt you, he's peaceful now he never had any evil intentions to begin with. he just doesn't understand human thinking. And frankly sometimes I don't either
Reply
:iconbettttttt:
bettttttt Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student General Artist
slenderman: no mama in the house GIMMIE 20 DOLLORS GIMMIE 20 DOLLORS 
me: *gives snowwhitevonsorrow 20$*
slenderman: T_T
Reply
:iconslendershunter:
SlendersHunter Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Bless necklaces and crosses. Wear some blessed necklaces. Demons hate The Lord. That should keep slender away. Stay with a crowd. See a doctor if you don't feel well. If your going insane take therapy. Get explosives. Blow slender to pieces. Get assault rifles and snipers with a coat of full metal jacket and incendiary ammo and shoot him. Get your friends to kill him too. The more the merrier. Together the world will be safe if you kill the. Kill his minions. Kill them all. Prove the world he is real. That he is dead. That he is the true killer. That all witnesses can sleep safely now. 

This is how to survive and kill the slender.
Reply
:iconmaxxcooper:
maxxcooper Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Professional Interface Designer
Slendershunter you idiot didn't you just read the fine print above YOU CAN'T KILL SLENDERMAN not only that you forgotten that Slenderman has TENTICLES and if you throw something at him will ONLY CAUSE your own death.

MOONWALKER HAS SPOKEN!!!
Reply
:iconlordofnoobs:
lordofnoobs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
people are so determined to kill what they don't understand that they never try TO understand it, especially when it seems scary. dude I've met slenderman and I've befriended him, he's one of my best friends and I talk with him all the time. he has psychic like abilities and speaks to people through his mind. I've learned he's not evil he's just not human. He doesn't think like humans and he never understood what he was doing was wrong. He can not be killed so forget about that he's immortal so he doesn't understand the concept of death and what it means to people, I have found out that there are three slendermans one is a guardian and helps others when they are close to death, one is a guide he senses when people are about to meet a terrible fate so he goes to them and tells them what will happen and gives them two choices to continue with there life and suffer through there fate or for there soul to be released painlessly so they can go to the afterlife by him. That's why they are associated with death or near death experiences, and the one i know is misunderstood and is lonely can you blame it with the thousands of years of seclusion it lived? Now he talks too and knows some people, he helps others in danger and tries to interact in a more friendly way with humans. please stop being so determined to kill him, first of all you can't and second of all he is not evil he is a kind spirit and wouldn't harm anyone know. I hope one day you can befriend him too.
Reply
:iconslendershunter:
SlendersHunter Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student General Artist
You guys think this will help. Well no. 
Reply
:iconmelanyco:
Melanyco Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
Isn't it when i'm reading this i'm already trying to dig evidence on Slender? ;^;
Alsoo, in the wiki,
He toys with those people who most believe in him.
WELLLLLLL
TIME TO GET AMNESIA! :D
Reply
:iconlunaistoxic:
LuNaIsToXiC Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
lol me to i am doing research then stopped '-' but now idc i just wanna find out more about slendy c:
Reply
:iconbolinlover:
bolinlover Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
what if you think you see him?
Reply
:iconmeanncat:
MeannCat Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Slenderman invaded my dreams a year before I had even seen a picture or heard about him. He is still haunting them and because of that, I am already not following the guide because I'm trying to find out more...especially because in the dreams I see him in he is in places or around places that I see here where I live.
Reply
:iconlordofnoobs:
lordofnoobs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
if you ever see him in your dreams or in real life just talk to him, I've befriended him he has no evil intentions and fearing him just makes your own mind torture itself. Fear gives you nothing it just eats away at you learn to let it go as I have. And remember slenderman is a friend not a foe.
Reply
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